Is it normal to miss your booty call?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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