You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
