do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
