By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
