Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
