Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
