South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
