need another drink. this is the easiest way
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
