dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
