i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
