He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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