it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
