After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
