I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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