Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
