And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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