One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
