Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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