so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
