Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
