Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
