And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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