I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
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