Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
