oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
