Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
