Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
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