your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
