We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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