Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
