Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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