Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
