Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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