69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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