she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I have demons in me.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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