I want to walk on stilts...naked
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
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