apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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