We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
