they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
