she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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