He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Floor bacon is actually really good
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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