she looked like the bat from fern gully.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
