so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
