Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
