I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
this just has baby written all over it
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
