I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
