you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
