Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
