she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
You took a bar mat shot.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
