Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
